Wednesday, October 14, 2009
I attempted to shove Bella off of me as quickly as I possibly could but instead accidentally shoved her onto the floor. Her petite body hit the floor with a hard thud.
It did no good.
My life was over.
Everything that I had come to like about living here was all coming to end in that very moment.
Teenage hormones were officially ending my life.
"What in the hell is going on here?" he shouted.
I knew he was mad. What father wouldn't be, walking into your foster son's room to find your teenage daughter straddling his groin in the middle of the night?
I completely expected to hear gunshots, and feel a burning hole rip through my chest and end my life.
Charlie shooting me would be easier than any repercussions I was doomed to endure from this.
Thank God I actually still had my pants on. At least he knew we hadn't actually had sex.
Not that it mattered at that point. She should have been in her room sleeping. She most certainly should not have been in my room.
I couldn't think, I was in such a panic. I was sweating uncontrollably, and my heart was beating out of my chest.
"I.... I..... it's not what....I wasn't...." I tried to say something. Anything to get him to not kill me, but I couldn't even produce a coherent sentence.
"Edward, be quiet!" he yelled, "Bella, get off the floor now, and go to your room!"
I could see the veins in his neck and forehead. They looked like they were getting ready to bust open at any moment. His face was as red as a cherry and his eyes were as wide as saucers.
"Dad, it's not -" Bella began as she stood up off the floor.
He held his hand up to her. "I don't want to hear anything out of either of you! It's taking everything in me not to kill you both right now. I suggest you go to your room, and not make a sound until I come in there."
I had no idea what to do, or say. I had never been in this situation before. I didn't know if I had any chance of saving my life; much less staying in this house. I probably should have just started packing my bags right then.
Bella didn't even look at me as she walked past him and into the hallway.
Charlie didn't even look at her. His eyes were so focused on me. If looks could kill, I definitely would have been dead.
I knew he was going to think it was my fault. He would think the whole thing was my idea. He would never believe that his sweet daughter was the mastermind behind it all.
I was royally fucked.
"Edward," he began, "I need to calm down before I do or say something I will regret. You are not to leave this room for any reason until I come back in here. Got it?" he asked in a forceful tone.
I couldn't even produce an answer at that point. I was so scared of the consequences. All I could was nod my head.
"I'm serious, Edward. Do not test me," he warned as he shut the door behind him.
I laid back in my bed, and rubbed my face roughly with my hands.
"What the fuck?! I knew better than this. I told her to leave. He's never gonna believe me. I am so fucked! God, why won't you just let me die? I've tried so many times, but it never works. Are you just keeping me around to torture me?"
I didn't know why I was talking to myself or God, because it certainly wasn't going to help me, or get me anywhere.
"Fuck!" I shouted as I punched the mattress.
I had to get out of that bed, so I stood up, and began to pace around the room. My thoughts were running rampant.
I paced around that room for what seemed like hours, but when I looked at the clock it was only two thirty.
How long was he going to make me wait in this room? I knew the whole situation was fucked up, but he had to know the waiting was killing me.
Part of me thought I should just jump out of the window and make a run for it. The other part of me thought I might stand a chance of not being evicted from his house.
I wondered what Bella was doing. Was she freaking out as well? Was she in there laughing at my situation? She knew I would be freaking out.
I hadn't heard any yelling, so I didn't think Charlie was in her room yet.
What in the hell was he doing?
Did he go back to sleep?
I sure as hell wasn't taking the chance to leave my room to find out. He told me not to leave the room, and I wasn't going to push him any farther.
After pacing the room for another thirty minutes, I heard footsteps getting closer to my door. I turned to stare at the door. I knew it was going to be Charlie. The only question: Bad news or worse news?
Bad news being that I was going to be kicked out.
Worse news would be him torturing me to death.
The door opened, and I stood there like a deer caught in headlights.
"Edward, I need you to come downstairs now," he stated calmly. It was a little bit of hope that he didn't come in here with his gun cocked and pointed at my head.
I followed behind him as he exited my room. He walked directly to Bella's door, opened it, and turned to face me. "Go on downstairs and have a seat at the table. I'll be down in a minute."
I quickly made my way down the stairs and into the dining room. I could faintly hear him speaking to Bella, even though I couldn't tell what he was saying to her.
I sat down at the table, and began to fidget with the hem of my shirt. I was attempting to remain calm while I waited on him to come downstairs.
After a few moments, I heard someone stomping down the stairs, and Charlie telling Bella to be quiet. I assumed it was her that was stomping down the stairs.
I kept my eyes focused on the hem of my shirt. I was scared to look at either one of them.
As much as I liked Bella, I knew that this was mainly her fault. I should have tried harder to get her to leave my room, but she should have never been in there.
It was all going to come down to my decision to let her stay in my room. He would never believe me. She was Daddy's little girl, and she would always win against me.
"Sit down and be quiet, Bella. Don't make me say it again," he ordered as he pulled out the chair next to mine. Bella sat across from me, just like she did at dinner.
"But Dad -" Bella started, but Charlie interrupted her by slamming his fist against the wooden table.
"Damn it, Bella! I told you to be quiet!" He rubbed his forehead with his hand, and shook his head. He muttered something under his breath that sounded like 'damn kids'. "Okay, this is how this is going to work. I'm going to ask the questions, and you two are going to answer. If I want an explanation of an answer I will ask. You do not speak until you are spoken to, got it?"
"Yes, sir," I quickly responded. I didn't need to get in any more trouble.
"Dad, I..." Bella tried to say again.
"Bella, what don't you understand about not explaining?" he frustratedly asked.
"Dad, it's just -"
"Never mind, Bella. You're about to kill the one nerve I have left. Just be quiet."
I sat silent as I listened to the two of them argue. She was making this harder than it needed to be. What would he do to her for punishment? Take away her phone, or ground her for a few days? She wouldn't be out on the streets like I was sure I would be.
"I'm just gonna skip the bullshit, and get straight to what I need to know," he stated as he looked over to me. "Edward, have you had sex with my daughter?"
My heart stopped beating for a second. That was not the question I was expecting. I looked him in his eyes, and quickly answered, "No, Sir."
"Have you seen my daughter naked?"
I felt like I was literally in the interrogation room at the police station. Why was he asking me all of the questions?
"Dad, come on....what kind of girl do you think I am?" Bella interjected, sounding appalled at his line of questioning.
"Bella, I've told you to shut it!" he yelled.
"Edward, have you touched my daughter in any inappropriate way?"
"No, Sir," I responded.
Would he think kissing was inappropriate? Other than kissing, her straddling me was the worst we had done.
"Are you sure?"
What did he mean? Of course I was sure.
"You don't consider kissing my daughter in the middle of the night in my own home inappropriate?"
Fuck! Now he wouldn't believe anything else I said.
"Explain," he quickly retorted.
"Well," I hesitated slightly - I didn't want to throw Bella under the bus, but he had to know that I wasn't trying to take advantage of anyone or anything, especially his daughter. The only way to make him understand that was to tell him that Bella had started it. "It wasn't my idea to kiss Bella."
He cocked his head to the side. "Really? Then just whose idea was it?" he asked sarcastically.
"Bella's," I stated.
He threw his hands up in the air. "You mean to tell me that it was my daughter's idea to kiss you?"
I knew he wasn't believing me, but it was the truth. I could tell from his tone that he thought I was just trying to lie my way out of it, but I wasn't going to take the blame for something I didn't start.
He glared at me for what seemed like an eternity. Was this some police tactic to try and get me to break? I was already broken, but I wasn't lying.
I held my own, and simply looked him straight in his eyes. He finally gave up, and looked over to Bella.
"Bella, is that true? Did you kiss him first?"
She paused for a second before answering. Was she getting scared now?
I was. I just knew that she would lie, and tell him it was all my fault.
She looked down at her hands. "Yes," she answered quietly.
Charlie stared at her for a minute. I think he was in disbelief. He had it in his head that I was to blame, and the fact that Bella proved him wrong was fucking up his whole plan of attack.
"You're not lying for him, are you?" he asked her.
Her eyes shot up to look at him. "Are you kidding me Dad? No, I am not lying for him."
"Was it your idea to go into his room in the middle of the night?" he questioned her.
"I can't believe you, Bella! We raised you better than this. How long has this been going on?" he shouted.
"Well, the first time was the weekend he moved in. Then we barely spoke until yesterday," she admitted.
He looked to me. "Is this true, Edward?"
I nodded my head. "Yes, Sir."
"Bella, I just don't get it. You are such a smart kid. I never thought you would do anything like this."
"Do anything like what, Dad?" Bella questioned.
"I'm asking the questions here, young lady." He sat silent for a few minutes.
"Well, you two leave me no choice," he began, and I knew that my life was over right then. He was going to send me away. I would be back on the streets, or in jail, or with some other greedy family that didn't give a shit.
"Edward, we are going to have to find you a new place to live. I can't have you under my roof anymore."
My heart stopped, and my stomach sank. I felt the bile begin to rise in my throat. It was everything I had expected, and everything I never wanted to happen. I was going back into hell. The little glimmer of hope I had been given was snatched away. There was nothing I could do. Sure, I could beg him to let me stay. I could argue that it wasn't my fault, but that wouldn't do any good. He wasn't going to send his daughter away. I felt like crying, but I couldn't bring myself to actually produce the tears.
"What? No, Dad! You can't send him away! You can't!" Bella cried out.
I looked at Charlie and nodded my head. "I understand. I'll go pack my things," I said as I stood up from the table.
"Daddy! You can't do this! Why are you doing this? It wasn't his fault!" she yelled at Charlie through her tears.
She was crying? Why was she crying? I told her this would happen, but she wouldn't listen.
"Bella, calm down," Charlie said.
"Edward, you can't go! You can't leave!" she cried out as she ran towards me. Charlie grabbed her before she could actually reach me.
I made it to the stairs, and I could hear Bella cries. I couldn't believe she was so upset. I couldn't bring myself to feel sorry for her though, because her life would return to normal in a few days, and mine would be back to shit.
As I walked up the stairs, I heard Charlie trying to calm her down. I didn't want to hear what they were saying. She wasn't going to win this fight.
I was leaving. Period. End of story. Back to hell where I belong.
As I entered my room for the last time, I tried to commit everything to memory. Even if I was leaving on a bad note, everything else that had happened here was good. It was the first time I had felt like part of a family. I couldn't blame Charlie for sending me away. His daughter was his first priority. I was like a stray animal that he found abandoned on the side of the road.
I grabbed my duffle bag out of the closet, and began throwing in the few things that I actually owned. I wasn't going to take any of the things they had bought me. It didn't feel right. I was only leaving with what I came in with.
While I packed my bag, I could hear Bella and Charlie arguing with each other downstairs. I couldn't understand what they were saying, but it was none of my business anyway.
I changed out the pants I had been sleeping in, and put on a pair of my old jeans. I sat down on the edge of the bed. I wasn't sure what time he wanted me to leave.
Did he want me to leave at that very minute? Were we waiting for dawn?
I just sat there, and figured he would come get me when he was ready.
The arguing downstairs stopped after a while, and I heard Bella storm up the stairs and slam her bedroom door. I wondered where Renee was through all of this. Had Charlie told her what happened? Did she agree that I should leave? How could she have slept through everything?
My door opened slowly, and I saw Charlie standing in the doorway.
"Edward, I don't want to send you away. Do you understand why I have to?"
"Yes." I understood his reasoning, but it didn't make me feel any better.
"Bella seems to be very upset about it. I think she cares more for you than you know."
"Really?" I questioned.
"Really. I thought maybe it was her way of teenage rebelling, but I've never seen her that upset. She told me she'd rather die, than for you to be stuck with another family that didn't care about you."
I was blown away. Rather die? Really? I thought she was just messing around. I didn't think she actually cared about me.
"Wow. I can't believe that."
He shook his head. "Me either. She's too much like her mother."
He walked over and sat next to me on the bed. "So, I have an idea. None of us want you to leave. I don't want my daughter to be in pain, and I don't want you to be in pain either. I cannot allow you two to continue any type of romantic or intimate relationship. In order for this situation to work out, you have to swear that you will only be friends with Bella. Nothing more."
Was he letting me stay? Was he serious?
I excitedly turned to look at him. "You're not kicking me out?"
"Not if you agree to those terms," he replied.
I hugged him with all my strength. I couldn't help it. My emotions had taken over my body. The last few hours had been a roller coaster of emotions.
"Whoa!" he exclaimed.
I pulled back. "Oh, sorry. I got carried away," I offered sheepishly.
"It's okay. I understand. I'll go tell Bella the news. You have to promise me that if Bella tries anything, that you will stop her."
"I promise," I said confidently.
There was no way I was going to fuck this up again. If she tried anything else, I would have to try harder.
"Try to get some sleep. Go ahead and unpack too!" he said before shutting the door.
I let out a huge sigh of relief. I couldn't believe that I was getting to stay.
I only hoped Bella took this seriously. I hoped she understood what was at risk, and would do as her father asked.
I laid back on the bed, and finally relaxed.